Steve Jobs: “Death Is The Destination We All Share”

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I chanced upon this script when Steve Job passed away... find it very meaningful. So I decided to leave this to my kids.... Julian & Garwyn, this is for you! The man who invented your favourite iPhone and iPad.

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I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

I was an EGG?

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Recently Julian & Garwyn are very curious to find out how were they born? Perhaps is due to Auntie Winnie's influence, she always tell Mia about the cut in her stomach and that was how she was born. Well! I dun have that CUT!

Garwyn started asking if I married Daddy and have him? The cheeky me decided to make their birth a little more adventurous. I told them Daddy and I were never married (no evidence of our wedding photos) & we just adopted all our kids by chance.

I've adopted sister Nicole in 2004, that was really true! The imagination starts.....
After adopting Nicole, dog needs to go for a walk. One day in 2006, while Nicole and I were doing the regular walk, Nicole spotted a big egg, she smelt it and even pee on it. I found it cute and brought it home for Daddy to see. Then something happened, the egg hatched the next day and out came a BABY with a BIG head! He was lovely and we decided to adopt him and call him Julian!

After raising Julian for a year, we found that he was too lonely being the only child at home, we decided to go for more walks in hope to pick another similar egg but no chance! Then one day in 2008, we saw an advertisement in Newspaper that Metro is advertising "Happy Baby for Sale - S$19.90". We went to Metro and found a small eyes baby on the shelf. We like it very much as he looks like Daddy! So we bought it home! The sales lady said it is guaranteed a Happy Baby, if not, we can get a refund! And that we named him Garwyn.

The next few days.... Julian & Garwyn came out with their version.
Julian's Version
Julian explained that he was from Planet Mar. There was a war in his planet and his parents decided to put him into a capsule (which I call it an egg) and transport him into another planet for safety. He will pick his own parents in that planet. He spotted me! I was picked by him to be his mummy!

Garwyn's Version (copycat of his brother)
Garwyn explained that he was from Planet Urinal (Uranus)! Wow! Garwyn, mummy didn't know you come from toilet?? His planet is also having war and he decided to transform into a baby doll and sell himself to me because he thought turning into an EGG was a bad idea. What if... Nicole poo on him, he would vomit.

Do you call that creativity? I hope they are able to write fantastic essays in the future : 0

Swimming Record

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Julian and Garwyn started swimming at the age of 4 and 3 respectively. As they were "underage" for the official swimming lesson so mummy has to put them under private training.

So far, their mummy has hired and fired 2 coaches. The current coach has "a list of credentials under his swimming trunk" and very experienced. This means NO NONSENSE. They are now into "NAVY SEAL" sort of training.

Julian and Garwyn's swimming abilities is definitely daddy and mummy's pride and honour!

Their current record at the age of 5+ and 3+ - 8 laps by 60m (our pool is a litte longer)!

Keep it UP! Sons! Mummy and Daddy are so proud of you!

Julian's Misadventure

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Date: 17th July 2011 (Sun)
Venue: homeground, swimming pool
Accident: Daddy 's fault - dare devil act - diving!

When you have 2 boys and a naughty father, you must have a strong heart! That's my advice!

I left the 2 monkeys to a monster to fetch my little princess from her usual grooming around 5pm. Just into my 10 minutes drive and I got a phone call telling me to come home immediately after fetching Nicole. I sense something was wrong.

The kids have gone swimming with Dad and as usual Daddy came out with some dangerous ideas, asking them to dive at the 1.5m end of the pool to overcome their height phobia. Garwyn, being another dare devil enjoys the diving but Julian was real scare and he was reluctant to dive so I guess he turned back during the process and hit his chin on the wall of the pool and bled.

It was Sunday and at 5pm, where do I find a doctor. I tried called my usual nearby family GP but he actually had the heart to tell me go KK and he was ending his shift duty and refused to even check on him. I remember there was a 24 hours nearby so I called a friend who worked around there to help me check on the clinic. It was opened so I went. The doctor was kind to turn back (was his dinner break) to check on him but he was reluctant to stitch or glue his chin up as he considered Julian as too young. So he applied pressure for him and suggested I go to KK hospital.

I was in 2 minds to go or not as I knew it was going to be crowded (too many naughty kids in Singaopore. LOL) and Julian was not that serious so he won't have priority. I called my friend who was on her night shift in that previous clinic to try my last luck. She told me it was a relief doctor but not too bad. I went over and thanks God! I met a good one. He told me the wound was not that serious and since we could apply pressure and had been running everywhere for help for the last one hour plus, we didn't need to do anything. He prescribed some anti-biotic and off we go!

Of course during this process, the guilt-stricken daddy kept calling us....

Beyond Words

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Toilet Talk while waiting for mummy to clean their butt after business!

Shopping spree in JB

Our conversations:

I was telling Garwyn that he is a big brother again cos Uncle Nick has a new baby - Kai En!

Julian overheard it and exclaimed: Huh?! Uncle Nick has another girlfriend?

Me: *&%%$%^

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I was teaching Julian - Sequencing through Rhymes and one of it is the ever famous Humpty Dumpty that goes Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall....

and Garwyn asked: "Mummy, why must Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall? Why can he sit on a bench?"

I have known Humpty Dumpty for so long and I have never thought of asking him such a question ever. Who did?! So my answer is....

that is why he is called dumb-ty!

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Garwyn was doing his big business in the toilet and I was waiting for him to finish it and clean his butt. While waiting, I was fiddling with my iphone responding to my 5 comments in my facebook.

He said: Finished!

but as I was not over yet so I replied, : I know you still have some more, please make sure you finishes everything then call me. I am waiting...

He replied: I am DONE! I know what you are doing now! PUT YOUR IPHONE AWAY AND COME AND WASH MY BACKSIDE NOW!

OMG! Caught in act!


Milestone Year 2011

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Garwyn

Julian

Julian


Garwyn's swimming lesson

This is a "turbulent" year for me! Kids are growing up, my responsibility has increased and the responsibilities that I have given to myself has increased too! I started going back to office since March, I have turned into a Mummy's Driver to ferry them everywhere, I'm my husband's secretary but luckily I have found a good helper beginning this year. She is Jenny! She loves cooking so now we have bidden farewell to "tingkat dinner" and welcome our healthy home cooked meals!

My mother in law was hospitalised twice this year and now quite bed-ridden and on NGT. I have been trying to be a dutiful daughter in law as well, trying to help my sisters-in-law with whatever I can and also ferrying kids to visit my in laws as much as possible.

Finally, I have just completed all my accounts duties and even almost completed my spring-cleaning (thanks to Jenny for being my super assistant) and I can blog again!

Where have I left? Where do I start?

About Julian

Julian is now a 5 years 4 months old boy and weighing over 20kg! He is now in K1. He could draw, write, read and even calculate... when he is in good mood! In Sport, he excels in bicycling (not tri- but 2 wheels), swimming ( in frog style - he can swim 6 laps at once, not baby pool! mind you!), he could roller blades and he said the next thing he wanna learn is to join taewondo! He is also a pianist in the making.

I almost can't believe that my baby has grown up so fast!

About Garwyn

He is still my very babelicious Garwyn who still refuse to grow up. Sometimes he will even crawl around at home and blar blar blar in baby language and make BIG BROTHER very piss off! This baby is tall like his dad but skinny like his uncles weighing at only 15kg. After showering, he really looks like a POW! Nevertheless, this 3 years 10 months old toddler can do frog style too. Definitely not a baby in the pool! He is also a MAZE solving expert! He said his finger is his GPS!

However this is still my most worrisome child. He has just recovered from his 2nd unlucky bout of HFMD. He is also seeing a speech therapist and an occupational therapist for his muscle under-developement problem.

About Nicole

My one and only precious DOGther (daughter). She is 7 years 7 months old now (and in mortal age - she would be 49 years old now, surpassing me!) and weighing at 7.6kg (desperately needing Marie France service like mummy). Another most worrisome dearie. Last year I was constantly worried over her stubborn tick fever and this year her bladder stone problem. So I have been visiting vets regularly to follow up with her stones! Trying to get it out without an op! I have read alot in the internet about this and I know it is unlikely to avoid the OP. Lucky for now the vet said it is estimated to be 14 stones but seasame size and she may be able to purge it out through peeing. There is no urgency for OP so for now we have to force her with more water.

This is so much for now. I need to pack dinner for them. I promised the baby it will be his favourite chicken rice for dinner but it is raining now.... and time to wake them out of their nap.

Police vs Daddy

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Last night, Garwyn came to me and said he was a power ranger then gave me a kick! Sooo painful. I screamed for daddy but never expect the tv addict actually would leave the tv and rescue the wife!

Garwyn was so worry but angry! Daddy told him to apologize and he did it reluctantly. However he refused to do the kissing and hugging part. When Daddy walked off, he stood in the corner and pretend to make a call: "hello police, mummy is naughty!"
I pretended to make a call too! "hello daddy, Garwyn bullied me again!" This time Garwyn burst into tears. Guess daddy is still more powerful than police in the household huh?!

Julian pretended to be daddy and asked Garwyn what happened. Garwyn came to me and hit me saying mummy is naughty. Julian ran to daddy's room but could not find daddy so he mischievously shouted in the room n said "daddy, Garwyn Abu Baka Abu Baka blur blur blur!"

Everyone in the room burst into laughter including Garwyn. Julian came back and said sheepishly "I'm so funny right?!"

That's our bedtime bonding time! Together with our Aunty Jenny too!

fighting for mommy

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We were watching PRIMEVAL n about the man got infected & turned into fungi monster. Julian was so scare and he sat on my lappy and started biting his finger.

I asked him if he felt scare. Garwyn immediately put his toe into his mouth and gave me a very scare look!

Julian's storage system

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Julian pointing to his head: I keep teacher J here, Maths here, & potato chips here.
Me: what about me? You have no place for me in your head?
Julian: I keep you here (pointing to his birdie)! You are most important to me.

OMGosh! No wonder we said men use their xxx to think. They already know that since young! This is where they store important data!